The View From Here

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               SWEET CHRISTMAS RECIPE

Start with a great decorated "Yolka"... add good food...good friends...cute kids...hot water...and LOTS AND LOTS OF SNOW! (Toss in some fireworks and a good filling of English language news, and you're good to go!)

This was my Christmas this year....aaahhh. :) For regular blog readers here, you know that for quite awhile the only thing in this space was the picture and the Merry Christmas greeting! That's about all I could accomplish in time for Christmas. But since I will celebrate Christmas again on January 7th (Orthodox Christmas that is recognized here in Ukraine), I figured I still had time to update my Christmas greeting. :)

I got my decorations out this year, but never had a chance to put them up! I wasn't too upset, because I knew I would be out of town on for "Catholic Christmas" (December 25th), and thought I would just get a tree before New Year: the REAL must-have-day for a "Yolka". :)  (That didn't work out either, but more on that later.)

But any disappointment was erased when I walked in the door at the Susidko's house in Rzhshchiv. They had a great "yolka" all decorated and lit up! I was so surprised how happy it made me!

Every year is different, (just like for many of you, I'm sure) and for the most part holidays away from family are not as hard for me as maybe for others because I lived so many years in California far away from my parents in Oregon, (and my siblings are all over the place!) 

But still, sometimes you just wish there were more familiar things that would at least make it feel like Christmas. On those times, with no Christmas carols being played everywhere, no traditional food, and December 25th being basically just another day...on THOSE days, to start to miss family, too...well, its better not to even turn the Jonny Mathis Christmas tape on. :)  My good friend hit the nail on the head regarding holiday expectations in her December 28th blog posting. Check it out at www.updatesfromukraine.blog.com .

So it was especially great when I showed up at Tanya and Sergei's and the Christmas music was playing, the kids were running around laughing and giggling and yummy smells were coming from the kitchen. I had just barely made the last "marshutka" (mini-van) from Kyiv to Rzhshchiv and apparently the heat didn't work! I FROZE during the hour and half ride there! It was late and I didn't realize Tanya had held a special Christmas dinner for me...well, for all of us, but hey were waiting on me! (We had some last minute book orders to get before Christmas that day, and both of my employees were fighting colds. I didn't have the heart to send them out in the snow to gather books from the different distributors, so I went myself and this threw off my schedule to get to Rzshchiv).

BUT..it all worked out great! When I was discouraged and almost decided to just come the next day because I thought I had missed the last marshutka, Sergei even offered to drive into Kyiv and pick me up. Just like my parents would have done...or my brothers, or my sister. Family. :)

Tanya and Sergei are missionaries, too, and their little home is humble but cozy. Tanya is Australian (just by chance with a good Russian/Ukrainian name!) and Sergei - Ukrainian. I was a bridesmaid in their wedding years ago and it is so great to see how their family is growing and how they continue to serve God with love and humility. They could easily stay in Australia (they were there for awhile) and make money and have everything comfortable for their family, but they feel like for now God has called them here. They aren't saints - just obedient.

So...we ate, caught up on world news (I watch it in Ukrainian and Russian but I know I miss a lot), watched Sergei set off fireworks, laughed, talked (ok, I talked, they listened! ha!) and after two days they had had enough of me and they left! Ha! Just kidding! They were invited to celebrate the holidays some more in another city with other missionaries. They left me to house-sit.

I have a lovely (note the sarcasm here) hot water heating system called a "kolonka" in my house that may be the death of me. :) Well, not death, just great frustration. :) Due to "weak gas flow" in my old apt. building (according to my landlord and one repair guy) I have not had hot water for going on two months now. My landlord fiddled with it for almost an entire day recently and announced "Vot! Est!" ("There! You have it!").  But I didn't. I had lukewarm water which over time has turned to consistently tepid (or is tepid warmer than lukewarm? Whatever. You get the idea.)

Now, this really doesn't make sense, because, it seems as if the gas flow has probably been just as weak in this building for the last five years that I've lived here, so why have I had hot water up until now? (albeit, I'll grant you, not consistent, but nonetheless, with a little prodding, I could get hot water). All this to say, I now know that it takes exactly two kettles of hot water (with cold added) for me to shower. Three if I want to really luxuriate. :) (I will try to get a new, different kind of kolonka when the budget allows.)

So to stay at the Susidko's, where I believe the only new part of the house is their wonderful bathroom with bathtub and GREAT hot water system...well...I was in heaven! :) Taking a hot bath or shower was never so good. My parents have a little "farm" and I remember them saying that once they wondered aloud to each other why they didn't mind feeding animals, milking, etc. now considering they often just hated it when they were kids. I figured it was just the usual maturity factor, but they said the biggest reason was being able to come in and take a hot shower after chores. That was what made all the difference. You  sure don't realize how important something so small is until you don't have it. Or when you do, after not having it for awhile!

SO,on that note...to all of you that help make up those things that I don't have nearly enough of...whether because we're too far away from each other, we're close but life squeezes the time out, there's not enough of you to go around..or as in the case with my amazing parents, brothers, sister and their families - no matter how much time we have, its never enough....You are missed, I love you and I hope your Christmas was wonderful! :)

This one may not be a very popular blog post. Sorry 'bout that.

So this is the story. I've been running crazy lately (hence no postings for awhile..will get some specific news out soon, after this one) and have been running a little thin on energy, optimism, etc. During these times I begin to doubt why I'm doing what I'm doing, if I'm redundant, etc. I sometimes wish I was a person who felt less, thought less, etc. But to quote Popeye (and the Apostle Paul) "I am what I am...by the grace of God" (first half Popeye, whole quote Paul). 

So it's almost Christmas. Things are not exactly as I'd like (no Christmas tree yet, not sure if I'll be able to pay my employees before New Year's or not - THE big holiday here - no family around, everyone I know is getting married...."winge, winge, winge"...). And I'm on my way to the birthday party of one of my volunteers that runs our bookstore on Sundays after church. She is a mathematician, a research scientist that has been to many different countries presenting papers on various subjects in various languages. The salary she lives on is maybe just ok for here, but apalling for anywhere else and overall just awful in light of what she does. And she volunteers every other Sunday in a pitiful little church bookstore selling books for 2 and 3 dollars laid out on worn wooden tables. She loves books. She loves God. She loves people and she loves to serve. I am humbled. I am very blessed.

So I get to her birthday party. I'm winge-ing (sp? that's "whining" for those who are not citizens of Her Majesty's Commonwealth) and thinking "moo, moo, moo. mee, mee, mee. wah, wah, wah." (For those of you who have seen Emperor's New Groove). Your basic pity party. I stood in the hallway outside her apartment and prayed. I really just looked around at the peeling paint, graffitied walls, bare lightbulb and said out loud "Dear Jesus, help me!". I know I am so blessed. I have an incredibly diverse family that loves and accepts me even if they often don't understand or agree with me, I have more friends than I know what to do with sometimes, and I have "sychronicity" in my work, hobby, and ministry (as I heard was so necessary recently in a seminar...nice to know, I guess). So I'm not saying this so you will feel sorry for me. Some of you will even think I'm quite the wimp.  "Poost Boodit" ("So be it").  Bear with me, this all has a point.

The door opens, I go inside and as soon as I have hauled off my 20 lb. winter coat (not really, just feels that way), boots, hat, and other snow paraphanelia, and sat down...our hostess says that to begin her party we will have a short time of worship. (Protestant-Evangelical-Non-Denominational-Speak for "sing a few songs". )

I was not in the mood. But we sang. "Tvaya loobov ne mai reka"..."Over the mountains and the sea, Your river runs with love for me..and I will open up my heart and let the Healer set me free. I'm happy to be in the Truth, and I will daily lift my hands, for I will always sing of when your Love came down."

Then another..."Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. Open the eyes of my heart. I want to see you. I want to see you.

Then something great happened...I forgot that I was... ... well, I forgot "I". I knew it wasn't about me. It was her birthday. Everything would be fine. I wasn't dying...yadda yadda yadda. But  that was how I was feeling.  Before. But now my focus was reshifted (refocused? Renewed? losing my English here...sigh...)...and I didn't really notice, and we had a great party.

I came home and started working on the editing I have due for an English language magazine. (I always pray and trust for God to provide the finances for Tree of Life. And this time I feel like, for a time at least, that He is providing through a very practical means - editing magazine articles. But more on that in a later posting).

My mind was spinning with bad English, poor translations, etc. so I thought I'd take a break and watch the news or something. There was a program on, a kind of made-for-tv movie or episode in a weekly show or something, I wasn't sure. (See, Mom, I don't waste ALL my time watching tv or I would've known what show it was. You done good.)

It was one of those "stories ripped from today's headlines" kind of thing and this headline was the terrorist / hostage incident in Moscow awhile back (one year?). If you don't remember, Chechen rebels held an entire theater audience captive (opera, not movie..somehow that makes a difference for me). Many had bombs strapped to themselves and many people were killed. Finally the Russian special services broke through and killed the terrorists and released what was left of the hostages. I'm sorry that I can't honor those who died and those who were brave with more specific figures right now (I could look it up on the internet), but that's not my point right now.

The show was really pretty well done. The Russian actors were great. It was shot on location in Moscow, not some cheap set or fake supposed-to-look-like-Russia-but-really-its-somewhere in Budapest (a big difference for those of us that actually live in this part of the world). The American actors were a different story...Colin Powell was *Mr. Evans (the dad) from "Good Times". He was good, but when he was supposed to be on the phone with the Russian ambassador I kept expecting him to say "Flo, what you talkin' 'bout?!?" Ok, sorry, I digress...further.

So back to the point...it was horrible. It was bloody and gorey and from what I know it was pretty realistic. Oh sure, there were "tv moments"...the hero saves the day, etc. etc. But it was horrible. Those lousy terrorists. But wait...there was a twist...it was Arabs that had decieved the Chechens to get what they wanted. And I thought how it is interesting that who the "bad guys" are depends on where you are in the world. I imagine somewhere in the Arabic world there are tv shows showing evil American soldiers bombing innocent women and children. (Stay with me here...I'm saying that's what they'd show - maybe - no editorial comment on that at this time).

And when you're watching all this on CNN and the Russian voices are all translated by this very calm, controlled professional translator voice it seems all, well, manageable. The "real" news becomes very unreal and this movie, this "fiction" is/ was, as I watched it, very, very, very real. I heard the anquish in their voices and understood each phrase. I knew that what they were re-enacting was a very real situation. And it's not over. The situation in Chechnya rages on. As does the situations in Uganda, and, and...well, fill in the blank.

So what's the point? Why is this maybe not going to be a popular blog? You know what...evil is real. It's not those evil Arabs...or Chechens, or warlords, or terrorists, or child abusers, or murderers, or whatever label we want to put on whatever evil we are noticing or enduring at the moment. It is evil, it is sin. It is not bad karma, it is not unresolved past lives, it is not dysfunctional families, it is not bad policies, or world trade organizations, or whatever scape goat we would like to find. It is sin and it is in each of us. "I have seen the enemy and he is us". It comes out in horrendous ways. It comes in things we'd never do and things we do everyday. It is the little white lie and the slight indiscretion. It is the anger in our hearts, that Jesus said was as murder; the lust that He said was as adultery. It is not what we do, it is who we are - sinners. Someone said that "we aren't sinners because we sin - we sin because we are sinners". "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard".

So, wow, boy Cara...deck the halls. Some holiday blog. Well, thank God -LITERALLY - it doesn't end here. Let me give you a little background before you get the good part...

"..the truth about God is known by people instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts. From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made. They can clearly see his invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God.

Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that that their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they became utter fools instead. And instead of worshipping the glorious ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people, or birds and animals and snakes.

So God let them go ahead and do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other's bodies. Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies. So they worshiped the things God made but not the Creator himself, who is to be praised forever." (from the book of Romans, chapeter 1, verses 19 - 25 in the New Living Translation).

Going on...

"When they refused to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their evil minds and let them do things that should never be done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behaviour, and gossip. They are backbiters, haters of God, insolent, proud and boastful. They are forever inventing new ways of sinning and are disobedient to their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, and are heartless and unforgiving. They are fully aware of God's death penalty for those who do these things, yet they go right ahead and do them anyway. And worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

"You may be saying, ' What terrible peole you have been talking about!' But you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condeming yourself, for you do these very same things. And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. Do you think that God will judge and condemn others for doing them and not judge you when you do them, too? Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to to turn from your sin?

But no, you won't listen. So you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself because of your stubborness in refusing to turn from your sin. For there is going to come a day of judgement when God, the just judge of all the world, will judge all people according to what they have done. He will give eternal life to those who persist in doing what is good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers. But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and practice evil deeds." (More of the book of Romans, chapter 1, verse 28 through chapter 2, verse 8).

So, uh, yeah Cara...waitin' for the "good part" here... :( Glad you asked! :)

"We are made right in God's sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, no matter who we are or what we have done.  For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet now God in his gracious kindness delcares us NOT GUILTY. He has done this through Christ Jesus, who has freed us by taking away our sins. For God sent Jesus to take the punishment for our sins and to satisfy God's anger against us. We are made right with God when we believe that Jesus shed his blood, sacrificing his life for us....

Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on our good deeds. It is based on our faith. So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.

When people work, their wages are not a gift. Workers earn what they receive. But people are declared righteous because of their faith, not because of their work.

Oh what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes what joy for those whose sin is no longer counted against them by the Lord".

(Still Romans...this book is hot, I'm tellin' ya. :) This was Romans 2, and some of 3 and some of 4. Those of you who know it, know how to find where it is, those of you who dont' know it, read the whole book it is so very cool.)

So that's it. Helloooo? Anyone still out there? Sorry, this is a classic Cara-length blog. But it's me and it's from my heart and I don't want something neat and tidy I want something real for all of you. If you don't like long and rambly messy, you won't read it...if you can wade through it, you will. We're all big people, able to make choices. :)

So...this is it. Evil is real. Its everywhere. Its sin. And because of this "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. There is no judgement awaiting those who trust him. But those who do not trust him have already been judged for not believing in the only Son of God. Their judgement is based on this fact: The light from heaven came into the world, but they loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil." ( the Gospel of John, chapter 3, verses 16 through 20).

"That night some shepherds were in the fields outside the village, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord's glory surrounded them. They were terribly frightened, but the angel reassured them. 'Don't be afraid!' he said. 'I bring you good news of great joy for everyone! The Saviour - yes, the Messiah, the Lord - has been born tonight in Bethlehem, the city of David! And this is how you will recognise him: You will find a baby lying in a manger, wrapped snugly in strips of cloth!"

Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others - the armies of heaven - praising God: 'Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to all whom God favors'. When the angels had returned to heaven the shepherds said to each other, 'Come on, lets go to Bethlehem! Let's see this wonderful thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.' (from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 2, verses 8 through 15).

So go! Go to Bethlehem, (so to speak)...go to the place where the Baby lies, where the Saviour waits. Go to this "wonderful thing that the Lord has told us about".

Whether it's for the first time or the five thousandth time, go to Him. Open His love letters to you, read them, gather with his other broken-stumbling-work-in-progress-children and worship with them. Ask Him to "open the eyes of your heart, to open up your heart and come and let the Healer set you free". He loves you. I love you.

Merry Christmas from your rambly, melancholy, over-emotional, thinkin' too much, writin' too much, sister, daughter, sister-in-law, auntie, friend, missionary...I love you all so much.

PS!!! While I wrote this I got an instant message saying that a church was sending me a Christmas present of an unexpected donation! They know who they are, so GOD BLESS YOU! And a friend wrote me and said wonderful words of encouragement straight from God's heart to mine. God is so very good...give him a chance.

LOVE YOU ALL! And to all a goodnight! ha, sorry, couldn't resist!
Cara :)

**This is a correction from when this was first posted. For those of you avid blog readers and/or 70's sitcom fans. :)